Unintentionally Dirty Internt Happy Hour

screencapture from cincinnati.com

Well. That's gross.


This is from a pop-up that kept coming up trying to make me enter into some lottery.

But, you know, that's what she said!

SXSW 2008

If you're interested, a couple of my friends are heading to the event and are blogeriffic about it.

http://www.danmahan.com/sxsw08/

http://twitter.com/softcitylights

Although no-one has actually made it there yet !

My Snow Day

This morning I woke up to approximately 69 more inches of snow than had fallen during the day yesterday. Coming to a grand total of A Freakin' Lot".

I half-assedly started taking some documentative pictures. That's right, documentative.


Driveway and stuff through the window. Realizing that the Mr. has apparently stopped shoveling and made an escape.


Here comes some douche in a truck...


I opened up the back door to take the obligatory Table Covered In Snow picture. I tried to usher out the dogs.


This one's like "Um. No. Seriously no." (Hi dried up snow and salt on the wood floors!)

I felt for this one...he might get lost out there. Note: Backing his ears in dismay.




This one would rather bring out ALL of her toys then look at me sheepishly, as if she didn't mean it.

Well, screw this. I'm sweat pantsin' and robin' it all day.

Ah, the Mr. has returned with food, juuuuuust in time.

The Story I've Never Told Until Now

I'm really not a person who likes attention. Sometimes, I invent things that become main stream and I just let it slide. People can claim that it was groupthink, or whatever they like, but I've created a lot of things that are now mainstream that are not attributed to any one creator. I don't mind staying out of the spotlight. One thing really burns my brownies, though.

Growing up, I had this amazing little dog - Bobby. He was a inbred chihuahua with a head so big it nearly drug the floor when he walked. He had this quirky thing...when he ran and tried to hold up the huge melon, it would bounce up and down. People would always comment on it.

Bobby loved to ride on my dashboard. He wanted to see out the windows, but would grow so tired that his head would fall....he'd raise it up to see...he's start to fall back asleep. It kept repeating.

Bobby lived a long life, but perished in my youth. I wanted to immortalize him in some way. I created a plastic mold of Bobby and separated the head from the body with a spring. I put "Little Bobby" on my dashboard, just where the real thing used to sit when I drove.

My best friend, at the time, would always comment how I should sell them commercially. She thought that they had universal appeal. I tried to explain that Bobby was one-of-a-kind and no one would want a plastic dog with a weak neck.

Before I knew it, she had a patent for "Bobble Heads", a true bastardization of my dog's name. It started with Chihuahuas, but it has grown into baseball players, Sea Monkeys, Pee-wee Herman, Ozzy Osbourne...basically anything with a head.

I don't want your sympathy. I wish no ill-will of my old friend who stole my meager invention. All I really want is my dog back. Because I can't have him back, in the memory of Bobby Burner, I implore you, please boycott these versions of the original. If you must, only buy the light brown chihuahuas in Bobby's memory.*



*psych!

Last Day to Register to Vote

....and I made it!

Rollerbladers in the Office Parking Lot

Rex: the most amazing thing ever just happend.
Rex: there are these boys rollerblading in our parking lot, right next to my car.
Rex: i gave sharon my alarm key so she could set it off when they got near the car to fuck with them. which she did. then popped the trunk.
Rex: and i had to take the walk of shame outside to shut it.
Rex: embarassing but hilarious
Bumper Bowl: hehehe that's great
Rex: it was especially funny that this whole side of the building was watching it go down.
B. B. : did the rollerbladers say anything to you?
B. B. : were they catcalling at you?!?!
Rex: i heard them talking but they didn't say anything directly to me. when i came back in my co-workers said they were saying something but they didn't say what.
Rex: PF i wish!
Rex: i covet a good cat-call
Rex: i'm hearing now that, apparently, one of the boys said "shake your booty" to me while i was out there.
B. B. : AWWW and you missed that opportunity!?!!?
Rex: i know :(
Rex: you know i can't resist shaking it for teenagers. :(
B. B. : that's probably the weirdest thing you've ever said to me
Rex: why do you always have to make me feel bad for the things i can't change?

SCENE.

Revisiting Childhood Through a Movie

This afternoon I came home from a few hours of shopping (I know, I know, pity me and my new flat iron) to plop down on the couch and rest my feet. I idly started painting my nails and turned on the tv for some noise. I stumbled onto a movie channel and Dirty Dancing was just beginning.

This was one of my favorite movies from childhood. It was easy for me to put myself in Baby's position. While my dad wasn't a doctor, I got pretty much everything I wanted and was quite sheltered. (I mean, I recently discovered that some kids got those awful fruit 'Huggie' things while I had delicious Ecto-Coolers) I longed for some bad boy with tight jeans and a flowy mullet to take a liking to me and teach me The Lambada: Forbidden Dance of Love. I've always loved dancing, for as long as I can remember, and I always wished I knew how to do these dances and had a partner, other than my dog, to do them with. I was pretty sure that this would happen during one of the 2 summers I went to camp for a week.

I didn't expect many surprises...even though the last time I saw the movie I was probably 10 years old. (Right at that age where I started to realize that these sweaty kids were getting DOWN and that maybe I shouldn't be watching this with my mom sitting next to me on the couch) I couldn't really remember the plot...just that for some reason Johnny has to teach Baby how to dance and they totally fall in love.

But in case you were thinking about revisiting it yourself and haven't seen it a while, I'll sum up my recent observations.

-This movie is soooo contrived.
-Apparently this is set in the 60's...but...80's style.
-Was there always this much dry-humping?
-What exactly happened with that girls abortion that made her sweaty, again?
-Why is everyone in this movie in their 30's? Aren't they supposed to be teenagers?
-Do Baby and Johnny ever actually talk...or do they just fall in love dancing?
-People are ALWAYS gazing at each other uncomfortably long in this movie.
-Did I seriously think Patrick Swayze was hot?
-How is it possible that I practically want to cry at the end when they do the lift, still?

I highly recommend revisiting it.

In a somewhat related note, did I ever tell you that Bumper Bowl was in a movie with Patrick Swayze? I swear. He played his step-son.