Crapquest

Bumper Bowl makes the Best-Worst maps to help me and Fire Eagle find things. A couple weeks ago, I asked him to help me find the post office and he drew this map for me.

(Warning: BB has a filthy mouth)

FE and BB are taking a trip together this summer to Montreal, and she wanted directions. Here's what she got.


(Small print reads: unfortunately she gets pregnant. and then you're fucked. but the plus side is you get to move to montreal but then she leaves you for a much better looking guy, like that arcade fire fuck, and you end up lonely again and you can't speak french)

FE and I are going to New York this summer, so BB was kind enough to show us the way.

We're pretty sure that this service could help a lot of people who are tired of getting crappy directions from other websites. So if you need directions to somewhere, shoot me an email and let me know. BB should be back with you in a few short weeks. If not, just look it up somewhere else because he probably forgot about you.

Protecting Identities, One Ridiculous Nickname at a Time

Here's a quick rundown for you to put on your newfangled celluar telephone handheld hoo-ha when you need to remember who's who around these parts.

Rex - a journaler from age 11, a blogger from age today. I have every intention of writing whatever comes to mind that's amusing, funny, heartfelt, endearing, annoying, cute, sappy, happy, your hair is nappy, lint-trappy

Sometimes I can't stop rhyming.

I have one brother, a husband, dogs, a house, and other boring things included a gaggle of in-laws and lots of extended family in the south (requisite ya'll).

Fire Eagle - a firey red-head (sometimes) with a penchant for patriotism and saving wildlife* We have been friends since we met in 2005 but better friends since Oh Six. We usually spend the weekends together dancing, drinking, rabling, and rousing. We share a love of Greek food and things meatless, though I'm not a vegetarian and she is. Our wardrobes are slowly meshing into one. We spend a lot of time IMing diabolical plans for world domination through Awesome.

Bumper Bowl - a bloggin, flimin', hat and blue plaid wearin' fool who I met around the same time as Fire Eagle and became better friends with around the same time. He loves to play bumper bowl and he himself is much like the sport. He gets played a lot by girls (and little kids), he always bounces back, and he's always freshly buffed.** We share a love of Smoothie Planet, and Junior Senior's 'Move Your Feet'. We can be seen having short conversations outsides of The Smoothie Place or stirring up trouble at various adult beverage establishments.

Davey Jones - Davey is one of my oldest and dearest friends from back in my formative junior high years and beyond. We became super duper friends my sophomore year of high school and haven't looked back. We enjoy acting like idiots together, long periods of not calling to return back to normal, and karaoke. She's an amazing actress, beautiful singer, and has really shiny hair with her precious dimples. ***

Uncle Whiteshorts - we shared a few mutual friends and immediately bonded upon meeting about 2 years ago. His hobbies include tennis in his tiny white shorts, being robbed at gunpoint, and wearing multi-colored cartoon jorts.**** He moved away from this fine city a couple of years ago but we stay in close contact. His ears are tiny, but his heart is large and sense of humor, dare I say, off the hook.

Dweebil Moonbeast - I heard this on the internet once. This has somebody written all over it.*****






*those last two statements are not true.
** i'm making this up
*** this is all true
***** i couldn't eat another bite. i just had lunch
***** do you want to be friends?