Thursday, May 28, 2009

Fun Summer Stuff

I know it's been a long time since I've updated. I have good reason though! The Mr. and I split up (no hard feelings, it's cool it's cool) and my life got a little turned upside down. I'm living with Fire Eagle now in a cool apartment in a cool part of the city, waiting tables, and spending a lot of time smoking hookah, drinking, walking around town, and generally loafing. It's pretty great so far! (I'll get a real job soon, guys)

Keepin' this blog light and summery and all of that, for now, here are 3 things that I am currently loving that I want to share with you.

(1) Jorts™ (cut-off jean shorts for the layperson) The key is to find the right width. Go shopping for jeans that are snug on the legs so they don't look too flowy when you do the cutting deed. Don't go shopping for shorts. They're always going to be too high school, too short, too dumb. That's not what the hipster kids want to see. When you get your snug cool jeans home, put them on and cut a little slit where you want them to be. A few inches above the knee is legit for girls and guys, but start long. You can always take a little off, but once they're cut they're cut! Take them off and cut a straight line very carefully. Fold them in half and cut in the same place on the other leg. Put them on, boom, instant shorts. All the comfort of jeans with room to breathe and you can ride your bike, unlike in a dress or skirt. Also, throw them in the washer and dryer and trim them up a little when they come out. No one looks cool in freshly cut jorts.

Tip! Dudes: buy girl jeans. Even if you make your girlfriend go to the register and act like they're hers.

(2) We made up this drink last night, out of desperation, and it turned out so good! Here's what you need.

A bottle of super cheap vodka. I prefer Popov.
Soda water
A lemon
A microwave

Mix water and sugar up in a cup, 2 parts sugar to 1 part water. Microwave it and mix it up. (to dissolve the sugar) Boom, simple syrup. Ideally you'll do this before you're desperate because hot sugar melts your ice, duh.

Fill a cup with ice. Pour in vodka. As much as you can handle. I do about a 1/3 vodka, but that might be a little much for you amateurs. Add soda water to fill it the rest of the way, add some of that sugar syrup that you made earlier, and squeeze in some lemon. It's so tasty and light and low-cal! (as long as you go light on that sugar, boss) Better than diet tonic any day.

(3) Rock 'n Roll Tank Tops, as I call them are all the rage in the Me circle right now. My friends band THE LIONS RAMPANT *plug* gave me this awesome t-shirt but only had a men's medium left in black. I really wanted to wear it but it was way too big on me.

I started out by cutting off the bottom so it was just below my waist. You know, normal length. I wore it out once like that and my friend Josh said it was a little Seattle circa 1993, and I have to agree.

So I (probably didn't) invented the Rock 'N Roll tank top, which I have since used on another shirt and it turned out even better. (My camp shirt from 6th grade! Who keeps that crap? Me!)

So here's how you do this.
  • Cut the bottom off to where it's comfortable for you. I'm not interested in a belly shirt but if you are, go for it. Don't worry about hemming the bottom because this is rock 'n roll.

  • Use a seam ripper to rip off the sleeves and collar. Looks cooler this way. Just do it.

  • Turn the shirt inside out and lay it down flat. Get another tank top that fits you pretty well and lay it on top of the shirt, centered. Use it as a guide for how wide you want your tank top to be.

  • Use straight pins to pin up each side where you want to bring the fabric in so it's the same size as the tank top that already fits you. Cut off the excess fabric close to the pins.

  • Use a whipstitch to close up each side of the tank top. Be careful not to sew up the arm holes and make sure it's about even on both sides.

There you have it, one sweet tank top. Should look about this awesome when you're done:

Hope you're enjoying your summer as much as I am so far, y'all.

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