Thursday, April 24, 2008

Nightime Reading Suggestions

Lately the Mister has been on some sort of self-defense kick. I'm not sure what started it, but he has amassed a healthy collection of guns and ammunition in the last few months. He twisted my arm into taking a concealed carry class with him a month or so ago. (Yeah, I now have a License to Kill™) I don't like carrying the gun, but we have compromised for some sort of pepper spray that would put down an elephant.

Most days he'll lie down for a nap or maybe before going to bed and read a book. It's usually some fantasy or sci-fi book. I thought things might be going too far when I passed the bedroom and saw him snugged up with this book and later found it resting on my side of the bed (when I snapped this):

That sexy black and orange 70's design and clip art tipped me off that it was probably some kind of self defense book. This on is the manual that came with his kubaton, Official Kubaton Techniques.

It's one of these things that you see ladies carrying on their key chain. You're supposed to jab it into sensitive parts of the body when being attached. Ahhh makes me want to drift into a peaceful rest just thinking about it!

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Friday, April 18, 2008

A Great Companion to Any Bacon Wallet

from boingbong

Sooooooo can I borrow $68?

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Tuesday, April 15, 2008

An Open Letter to The Chinese

Dear Chinese,
I'm writing to ask you to please be more aware of your so-called 'fortunes' in your delicious cookies. Today I received advice, albeit useful, rather than a fortune from my cookie. It read as follows:

Find release from your cares, have a good time.

This fortune could have been salvaged with a simple addition of the phrase "You will" or "You will not". It's not hard. I am asking for a case, or more, of fortune cookies in damages, all with real fortunes. I thank you in advance for your co-operation.

Truly, Truly Yours,
Rex Burner

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Thursday, April 10, 2008

Devendra is dating Natalie?

Fire Eagle: how is he straight?
Rex: maybe he doesn't limit himself to chosing a sexuality
Fire Eagle: he has transcended gender and species. he is omnisexual
Rex: he's above all of us

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Wednesday, April 9, 2008

It's a Small World

Bumper Bowl: do you remember Leach*?


BB: well, i got this email from him...

"hey man whats up... I finished school in salt lake a couple weeks ago and started a job at this company in blue ash called ____...apparently you know someone who works here, because during the orientation process walking around, i saw you in a picture with some girl that works here...but she wasn't here so I'm unsure of her name... but apparently Bosslady works here too..."

BB: you have a picture of me up??
BB: *tear

Rex: hahah
Rex: yes
Rex: ha Bosslady says he came over here the other day like "i know that guy!" and she was like "that's like, her best friend"

BB: yesssssssss

Rex: she asked how he knew you and he was like 'some radion station i listen to' and she picked up her mug like 'oh THIS radio station?'

BB: hahaha, that's hilarious

Rex: heck yes it is
Rex: does he know who i am now?

BB: i don't know. i didn't email him back yet.

Rex: email him back "turn around" and then come over here and stand by his desk

BB: hahaha, i'm not that quick. unless i come over there and THEN email him "turn around" from your desk.

Rex: ok let's do that

BB: ok! be right there!

Rex: ok!!1

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Friday, April 4, 2008


Joey: I am clearly the best dressed one here. Why is everyone standing so far away from me?
Jordan: I looooove photoshoots you guyssss!
Donnie: Do you think Dwayne Wayne was the right 'look'?
Danny: Uuuuuhhhhh
Jordan: You're workin' it Donnie!
Danny: UUUUUHHhhhhh
Jonathan: Number one. We're number one? God's number one? Is this too Christian a hand gesture?
Danny: UUUHhhhh ah...Dude?
Jonathan:Maybe I shouldn't have worn my church shoes with these pants.
Jordan: OK! Sexy stare!
Jonathan: Vest over t-shirt makes it casual.
Joey: Maybe I shouldn't be making these kind of career decisions at 13.

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The Reunion Tour I'm Anxiously Awaiting

When I was 16, I was mildly obsessed with Joey McIntrye. To the point where I was writing haikus about it in my English class. I was pretty sheltered and wasn't allowed to go to any concerts until this age. My first show ever was Joey at Bogart's in Cincinnati with my boyfriend at the time. I was basically the biggest nerd ever.

Rex: new kids on the block on today show video F YES
Fire Eagle: hehehehe
Rex: *sweating*
Rex: omfg, nkotb recorded a new album
Fire Eagle: why?
Fire Eagle: :-P
Fire Eagle: hahahaha good answer!
Rex: i'm joey's popsicle. from the very first time he met me, i captured him.
Rex: yeah. i said it. look it up.
Fire Eagle: i don't even know what those words mean

You're my pop-si-cle!
From the very first time I met you, Girl, you captured me
You're my pop-si-cle!
All I know is that you make me feel so fancyfree.

Fire Eagle: "fancyfree"? GAY
Rex: he was 13!
Rex: i made him feel fancyfree and he didn't know how else to describe it!
Fire Eagle: as a 6 year old?!
Fire Eagle: GROSS
Rex: actually i was 2. sooooooooo
Fire Eagle: :-/

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Thursday, April 3, 2008

Officer Friendly

Officer Friendly
Originally uploaded by Dunny
Remember when I went to Chicago?

Well, this handsome and nice fellow took a picture of us at the Threadless gallery. I believe it was this guy, Paul, whose flickr I came across when looking at other Threadless related what-have-you-ry.

I didn't want to bother him by asking if he was the one who took it and/or if he could hook it up with a copy. I stop by his flickr every few weeks or so to see if he has posted them, or just to see if he has anything new because he is a pretty amazing photographer. Today I saw this and just HAD to post it.

He says:
"a couple of weeks ago this Officer stopped us and asked if we could take his photo... later on in convo we found out the photo was for his eharmony profile! So come on ladies hes single and looking! I need to find him again to give the photo to him. Oh and his only request for the photo besides making him look good was he wanted the coffee in the shot.. and his wish was my command.

Lets find him a date shall we?! "


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Band Name Ideas

A boring email chain from work:

Support Guy:

See below..this company says they are getting bids sent to them as a result from being on some jobs. I was unable to find the Hero’s park job and on the Settler’s park job, I didn’t see them listed. Would someone in the plan room know where else they may be listed?

My Bosslady Responds:

I found Heros and Settlers in Idaho. Hero is 721552 and bid 3/31. Settler is 721539 and bid 4/2.

I reply to Bosslady:

Heros and Settlers in Idaho

Best band name eva!

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Moms Relay the Important Information

So my mom called me yesterday like

"Are you at home?"

and I was like


and she goes

"New Kids on the Block are about to be on Entertainment Tonight!!!"

Sometimes my mom is precious.

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