So, you say it's your boss's birthday? Here's a quick guide to how to be sure she's mortified for years to come.
Take your boss to a restaurant. Any restaurant will do, but the best time to do it is around noon when there's plenty folks from the lunch crowd.
Tell your waiter that it's the boss's birthday. Watch the magic happen. In this case, we brought her to a Mexican restaurant. First they start hooting and/or hollering from across the room.
Then a waiter (hope it's the most attractive one) puts a big silly sombrero on her head. All of the wait staff sings their own kooky version of happy birthday.
Sometimes, amazing things come along that you just can't account for. In our case, a very elderly man at the table next to us took note of all the gaiety. He walked over behind my boss and gave her that old man poke on the shoulder. As she turned to him, he slowly cupped her face, puckered cartoonishly, and went in for a kiss on the lips. I turned my head, not wanting to see the moment of contact. She claims that she moved down just in time and he kissed her nose. Because I turned away, I missed the precious moment. Here you can see the aftermath as Oldy Olterton waltzes away.
If you want your boss's birthday to be this much of a success, I suggest taking her to El Mediocre Grande Authentic Mexican Restaurante and Grille and planting yourself near this sly fox.