Thursday, January 22, 2009

The Rules of Hipsterdom Part 2

If you’re a lady, get involved in something artsy or craftsy. Whether it’s making plush, drawing, sewing things you end up never wearing, or knitting. You always get extra indie cred if you’re doing one of the aforementioned while taking advantage of public transportation. Nothing is hipper than a cute girl with a hand-made cap covering her choppy haircut, knitting a scarf on the subway.

Complain every now and again about how Urban Outfitters…makes their own versions of designs from freelance artists and complain just as much that you HAVE to shop there because there is nowhere else to get any clothes you like in this stupid city. All the thrift stores that used to be good totally suck now. At least we finally got an American Apparel.

Support local businesses as much as possible and try working it into conversation. If you don’t have a lot of cool local businesses nearby, there’s always a coffee shop you can patronize instead of Starbucks. Even if it’s more expensive and their coffee sucks, at least you’re keeping the money in your cool urban neighborhood. The same applies for tea houses. There’s something so hip and refined about a quiet tea house with its walls lined with tins of fancy tea and it’s friendly and almost overly gentle staff in their horizontally striped sweaters with the sleeves pushed up. They always have some soft lovely music playing, such as Daniel Martin Moore, and it's a great place to refine your recently aquired hobby of drawing or whatever.

Daniel Martin Moore - Stray Age from Soft City Lights on Vimeo.

Go to indie dance nights at the hipster bars and either get crazy-drunk or dance like a fool or stand in the back and watch (if you’re not the dancing type). Either way, it’s a good place to take notes on what everyone is wearing and who they’re hooking up with.

At some point, it’s a good idea to start making your own music. Even if you’re not very good or you’re already in a band, it will be nice to get it out there anyway. All you really need to do is start a myspace. The pictures should generally be of anything other than you. A field, children holding hands, your feet, a stick of gum, someone’s puppy, whatever, it should just be vaguely anonymous, even though everyone already knows that it’s you. Under no circumstances should your solo music have your name anywhere in the title of it. It might confuse people at first, i.e. they may comment you “Is this Rex or is this Dinosaur Push Wagon? I’m confused.” Don’t respond. People will explain to the confused others that, duh, Rex and Dinosaur Push Wagon are one in the same.

Like my friend Jacob, who also refers to himself as Caves.

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