An Open Letter to The Chinese

Dear Chinese,
I'm writing to ask you to please be more aware of your so-called 'fortunes' in your delicious cookies. Today I received advice, albeit useful, rather than a fortune from my cookie. It read as follows:

Find release from your cares, have a good time.

This fortune could have been salvaged with a simple addition of the phrase "You will" or "You will not". It's not hard. I am asking for a case, or more, of fortune cookies in damages, all with real fortunes. I thank you in advance for your co-operation.

Truly, Truly Yours,
Rex Burner