You've gotta have goals.

So, here it is. A new year. I don't know exactly what that "means" - other than the facts. I get the 4 seasons again, there's one more day in this one, an election is coming up, Christmas is over, I'm picking up another 365 days worth of dog crap. It's still same-old same-old, but we're calling it 'new' now or we might all just get bored. Or, if you're like me, start considering your options about how you can speed up global warming so winter will be OVER already. I have to wonder to myself in this, the most extraneous times of the year; Could I stand to lose a pound or two? Should my eyebrows be....less bushy? (No srsly, should they? They're all natural) Is my hair the right color? (Chop Shop Scott thinks so, and he's one of the coolest people around) Do I hate my job? (Well...hate is a strong word) You know.

This year is going to be better. My friend FIRE EAGLE* and I, one of my very b of my ff's, decided that 2008 is The Year of Awesome. I threw a lot of great slogans her way. Ones that rhymed, just like my class of 2001 slogan did! (Getting business done in 2001! and I had suggestions for that one too. Mix Business and Fun in 2001! Have a Fight? Don't Bring Your Gun in 2001! Can you think of a Good Pun in 2001?) For example. Those Shoes Look Great in 2008! Control Your Fate in 2008! Settin' you Straight in 2008! Find Fire Eagle a Mate in 2008! I Can't Remember That Guy's Name, Is It Nate: It Happened it 2008! Going fishing? Don't Forget the Bait in 2008! Keep Your Vinyl in a Crate in 2008! Do You Think You're Late? Don't Have Babies in 2008! My Brother is Marrying a Girl Name Kate in 2008! (That's true!) I mean, the list was hefty but she was having none of it. We're two mildly shy mostly crazy ladies who like to control our destiny and put out an aura of awesome when we can. So 2008 Year of Awesome will have to do.

I always set goals for myself, and I met the 2 of them last year, leaving this year ripe with possibility. I laid it on her. This year- SOMEONE is going to write a legit Craigslist Missed Connection about me. HOW is that going to work, exactly? I have to be as publicly awesome as possible, not talk to too many strange men (I think I've got that covered), and be seen.

I swear if you read them, you'll want one written about you. I wrote one for my friend Nick a few weeks ago when he went m.i.a. and there was amusement 'a plenty. Sometimes I can become lost in the fantasy of these things.
Subj: Dairy Aisle m4f
Body: Did you get low-fat cheese because you think you're fat? You're not. You could be eating regular cheese if you wanted to. Tell me what color my armpit hair is so I know it's you!

Subj: YOU LOOKED SO HOT m4f 47
Body: I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYONE WEARING ONE OF THOSE SLEEVELESS HOODIES LOOK SO GOOD. YOU WORE THE SH*** OUT OF THAT GIRL I WANTED TO TALK TO YOU BUT I AM TO SHY TO PLEASE HIT ME BACK PS I LIKE YOUR RED HAIR ;)

Subj: office crush m4f 26
Body: i am a contractor who comes into your office sometimes. i pass by you every time i come in but i can't find the words to say to you to let you know how i feel. you are the red-head who always has her heater on. i can keep you warm! email me with my first name and where i work so i know it's you.

I mean, that shit is romantic! Of course in the stalkeriest, creepiest way possible. But it still has that residual sweetness and sincerity, am I right? Wish me luck in my quest!

*names changed to protect people who really really want a cool nickname